Shelli: the future mother

One of these days i will be a mother.
Whoah.
For some reason, I've been thinking about it more and more lately. I think about the kind of mother I want to be, what my children will be like, how I will support them and discipline them. I can only hope and pray that I'm a decent mother. That my children wont grow up resenting me or saying, "if only my mom hadn't/had done this..."
One thing I know for sure is that I want my children to have the opportunity to seek after knowledge. I want to have a room full of books which they could read at their leisure. Anything from Plato to C.S. Lewis to even some crappy fiction books if they wish. (Which, I hope they wont wish, but it's their choice, I suppose). I want them to use words that make their classmates retreat in a corner. Who needs violence when you have a vocabulary larger than a doctoral student?
I want them to have the options of the arts, as well. The arts as in studio art, music, dancing, whatever tickles their fancy. If they want to spend all day indoors with nothing but paper and crayons, who am I to stop them? Actually, that might make me the happiest mother alive. I want them to be subjected to all kinds of music. Not just MY kind of music. I want them to hear all forms. I want them to realize that music can come in all different sorts of ways. I want them to listen to Miles Davis, Chopin, the Who, the Beatles, Hootie and the Blowfish, and even the music I grew up listening to like the supertones, Flatfoot 56, Sleeping Giant. I want them to learn to love everything from classical to classic rock to post-hardcore. I want them to have the opportunity to play any instrument they could dream of. The piano, cello, trumpet, drums, electic guitar, stand up bass, anything and everything. And if they want to be in a punk rock band and they choose my garage to practice in, I'll supply the midnight snacks.
I think about these things and I can't help but become extremely excited. However, I must admit, i am reluctant to say that I would be smiling if my daughter wanted to become a cheerleader or if my son wanted to play football (unless it's european football ;) ). What if they wanted to enter the world in which I had no part of and never wanted a part of? Of course I would let them and I would support them. I would go to games and competitions and I would be the proudest mother there. I want to be the kind of mother that is exceedingly happy for their child no matter what happens. If their child is gay, I will welcome their partner with open arms. If my child is president of the science club, I will not help them with any of their homework (for fear of screwing up whatever it is that they were working on) but I will support their endeavors and brag about them to all my friends. If my child is a lazy bum that wont do any of their work and doesn't graduate on time, I'll do anything in my power to encourage them and let them know that it doesn't matter what they do, I will love them no less.
Most of all, i want my children to have a relationship with God. It's difficult to know how to raise a godly child. I grew up in a christian home, went to christian elementary school, grew up in the church. From the time I was a small 5 year old, believed in God. Like, honestly believed in God. I had such a heart for His word and I would preach to my stuffed animals. However, so many of my friends that I went to elementary school with grew up and completely turned away from God. They got pregnant, got into drugs, dropped out of school altogether. So how do I know when I'm choking my children with religion or if I'm being too lenient? I don't know if I'll ever know. I don't think there's an answer to that. I think it really depends on the child. If they're the type that needs to figure things out on their own, then I will give them room to do that. If they're the type that is hungry for knowledge and respects their old lady's opinion, i will share my testimony, share my heart for God. Either way, I will pray that God will use it to His glory and a seed will be planted and grow in His timing.