I don't like fruit

We all know that one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control.
I seem to lack in that department.
Like, seriously. That's why I still cut myself after 5 years. That's why I've gone further than I wanted to with all of my boyfriends. That's why I have to have friends forcefully keep me from buying anything at the store because if I have money, I HAVE to buy something.
So I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I'm lacking the self-control to not beg to be taken back.
I do still want to be with him. I wanted to be with him even when I broke up with him. I just felt like this was the best choice. But I was laying on my futon and began thinking about how we talked about last week how we're both so excited to see each other over break. And I keep thinking about the days we spent together in Texas when we finally told each other how we felt. I still want to be with him. He can break up with me again in August when he leaves for California, but for now, I just want to be with him, enjoy him, look forward to seeing him.
So I keep debating on whether or not to actually say, "I still want to be with you if you'll take me back. I made a mistake." or if I should just keep it going how it's going and stay friends.
He really is an awesome friend.
I want to be with him again.

***EDIT***
On a side note...
Oklahoma is really popular. Or, at least it's known for alot of things. I didn't know other states talked about us this much. Currently in my sociology class, we discussed the OKC bomber, Timothy McVey (I don't know how to spell his name so I used phonics :) ) and in my religion class, we're talking about ORU in Tulsa.
As crappy as Oklahoma is, I have a strange sense of pride for the dysfunctionality that infests my state.