I've been reading a good book

I've gone through a rough spiritual patch. I suddenly found that the God I was taught about in sunday school wasn't real at all. But that was the god I believed in and devoted my whole life to. So I was scared and depressed. I was terrified. I no longer believed in "god" but I had put my whole identity in that "god". So what was left?After weeks of crying myself to sleep and not even wanting to be alive, I talked with my sister, the only person who was able to empathize with what I was going through and help me make sense of God. I didn't want to stop believing in God. I still believed in God. I just had no idea who he was or what he was like.
And that is when I figured out that I didn't believe in the "god" I had always believed in. but I did believe in God. The true God of the Bible. I'm reluctant to say "Christian" God because I don't think God is a Christian. But the God of Christianity... he/she was real. He/She just wasn't who I was taught he/she was my whole life. And so I've been on journey to make sense of God (as best as that can actually happen). And now I have begun reading this book. It's called "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. I read the back and it sounded interesting, although the way Donald writes, it's hard to get exactly what the book is about. So I thought I'd give it a try. And it's exactly what I've needed.
Here are some exerpts:
This is part of the realization I had when I suddenly noticed that the "god" I was taught of wasn't real:
"If I werent a Christian, and I kept seeing Christian leaders on television more concerned with money, fame, and power than with grace, love, and social justice, I wouldn't want to believe in God at all. I really wouldn't. The whole thing would make me want to walk away from religion altogether because, like I was saying about Santa Claus, their god must be an idiot to see the world in such a one-sided way. The god who cares so much about getting rich must not have treasures stored up in heaven, and the god so concerned about getting even must not have very much patience, and the god who cares so much about the West must really hate the rest of the world, and that doesn't sound like a very good god to me. The televangelist can have him for all I care. you know, the real problem with God-imposters is that they worship a very small god, a god who exists simply to validate their identities. This god falls apart as soon as you touch him, as soon as you start asking very basic questions about the sanctity of all human life, the failure of combat mentality, and the lustful love of power."
And this excerpt is the realization I had when I suddenly noticed that God IS real:
"I began to slowly realize that the God of the Bible, not the God of formulas and bullet points that some have turned the Bible into, but the God of the actual Bible, the old one before we learned to read it like a self-help book, had a great deal to say to me. What I mean by this is the God of the Bible, and for that matter the Bible itself, started making sense of my deepest emotions, quirks, and sense of brokenness. Once I separated the little god from the big God, and the little-god imposters from the true and loving servants of God, I began to pay more attention. This God became very beautiful to me, in fact. The things He said, the people He chose to speak though, and even the way He worded His message became quite meaningful. The God of the Bible, in a very strange way, even explained why I would have wanted to renounce my faith.
"My God, you look so much different.
From mirrors you looked like a fool.
And your skin tastes much better with aging
not sweet like it was back in our Sunday School- Manchester Orchestra